Saturday, November 21, 2009

Why I hate Christmas

As a young child I loved it, how could I not? It was the only day of the year where I got given loads of presents and was allowed to eat pretty much whatever I wanted. I never concerned myself with the reason why. I was aware that it was about how some effeminate cult leader was born to a 'virgin' (If that's true, then technically didn't God rape her? Just asking...) mother with a group of voyeuristic shepherds and strangers from afar.

As I got older, the presents meant less and less and christmas became about not having to go to school for 2 weeks, with a few boring days I had to spend with family.

Now it's got to the stage where my family divide into two groups, those who are dead or those in my immediate family I see a lot of anyway. As me and my brothers are all adults now, presents tend to be useless little things, as anything we need we'd have already bought.

So now what is christmas for me now except just another day. The day has no 'spiritual' meaning for me and there isn't and in fact hasn't been a materialistic gain for a couple of years. So what now? Family? The same family I see most days thanks to my current situation, so without being too selfish and horrendously nasty to them, that doesn't make the day any different.

But what about christmas as a time of year to reflect on the previous year and look forward to the next year?

I've had a shit 2009 and the forecast for 2010 is worse.

Now i've established why christmas has nothing positive for me, i'll explain why my general apathy to most things has formed into a full on hatred.

It's everywhere. Absolutely everywhere. It can't be avoided or escaped from. It's this full on festival of cheap plastic, unhealthy food and quite frankly, extravagent waste.

I know this sounds like i'm a moody twat who doesn't enjoy something so wants to ruin it for others. Not the case. I don't give a toss what other people do as long as it isn't shoved in my face, which it is, repeatedly and aggressively. The nauseating tv adverts, christmas songs, decorations, themed cups at Starbucks (see previous blog entry on that) and it goes on and on and on and on.....

Now onto another point, why does everyone have to like christmas? Why is it assumed that we all enjoy christmas? If anyone shows even the slightest dissent on this grand piece of conformity they are brushed off as 'scrooge' or they say 'Oh, bah humbug'... ha ha ha aren't we so fucking hilarious for referencing one of the dullest and most over quoted pieces of writing.

No. You have the imagination of a broken lamp that's had its plug removed and has a big tear on the actual shade.

I don't like christmas, get over it. Don't call me names or try and force me to join in, just leave me alone.

For years I was in denial about christmas, I used to think I thought it was alright. But luckily i've had my epiphany moment. I do hate christmas and I can't wait for January so it can go away until next year.

Also, before any of you point out that this will change when I have kids and I get to see them experience it and it'll fill my heart with the greatest bounty of joy, i'm going to stop you right there.

I don't plan on ever having kids, getting married or doing any of that family stuff. I'm better off left to my own devices and the rest of humanity is better of with me out the way.

And on that bombshell, have a jolly-olly time this christmas.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Captain Bucky O'Hare

What an awesome show Bucky O'Hare was, i'm sure it was nice for him when he liberated his home world of Warren before the toads could permanently change it's climate.

But I digress....

Wait, no I don't.... the whole point of this post is to inform the 2 people (Diacanu and Jon) who read this blog that Bucky O'Hare is awesome. So is Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.

Monday, August 31, 2009

A test

I totally forgot about this blog.

Anyway, is anyone out there?

Monday, February 23, 2009

Filler material

At the moment, I have a real lack of inspiration and focus in all areas of my life, so instead of getting my thoughts together and ranting about something petty - here's a song.

Karma Police, Radiohead

Friday, January 30, 2009

I walk the streets to stop my weeping....

Song title and artist?

So, I haven't posted in a while, the reasons for this are as complex as they are tediously boring - but in a breathtaking example of simplification it can all be attributed to laziness, busyness and a general lack of inclination and/or inspiration.

In case anyone reading my blog wants to know what happened with the work I had to do (see last post) - I ended up spending pretty much the whole night (i got under 2 hours sleep) before the deadline editing it because those in my group tasked with the crucial final check had been somewhat slack - a case in point being instead of a proper source and reference for a figure we used, there was just a question mark... yeah, I know.

But anyway, who cares? That's all ancient history now.

Here's a list of things I've either learnt or had re-enforced recently;

1. Norse mythology is so much better than any of the boring stories christianity has ever come up with. (I read The Poetic Edda over the christmas holidays)

2. The new Queen and Paul Rodgers album The Cosmos Rocks is a very good album, definately worth a listen.

3. The only 'meaning of life' we ever have is the meaning that we, ourselves, give to life.

4. It's possible to construct a little fort out of unread books, it's also a fun activity and well worth the time it takes to plan and build it.

5. Women can be very confusing.

6. Buying bottles of wine in cases of 12 may sound like a good idea....and it is.

7. The average cat is probably smarter than the average human.

8. Daydreaming your childhood and youth away is a real waste, especially if you have/had plans for the future.

9. The River Thames has a real intangible beauty on cold and crisp very late evenings or early mornings.

10. Firefly is the greatest tv series there has ever been, fact.

Well, i've reached my 'blog filler limit' for today.

See you space cowboys...